Tiny Terrible Tale #8: Pizza Camping

"I wish we had pizza," she sighed.

"Me too!" Her friend squealed, bouncing in her slingback chair. "Pizza, pizza, pizza!" She chanted.

To their delight, pizza was delivered to the woods where they were camping.

"Ooooooo, neat!" Applauded the sighing girl. "I wish we had a swimming pool."

"Me too!" The friend echoed and bounced again. "Pool, pool, pool!"

In recorded history, it was the first monsoon to hit Indiana, drowning the entire campground.

Tiny Terrible Tale #7: MILK

"Whole milk is too thick," he spat, curling his lips & sticking out his tongue in disgust. 

"Skim?" She asked. 

"Might as well drink water." 

"Okay." So she poured the two together on his head.

Tiny Terrible Tale #6: Library Fines

"I'm here to take care of my fine." The man said in a very serious tone.
"Oh good," said the older library worker.
"'Bout time," smirked the other one.
"That'll be," the first one paused. "Twenty cents."
They all laughed as he dropped two dimes in the counter. He gave an exaggerated wipe to his forehead.
"Glad to have that off my conscience."
"Oh, I know!" Exclaimed the young smirker. "You don't want to let that build up! If you owe over five dollars, we send out the Library's Secret Mafia."
He laughed. "Good! I can stop running. Have a good day!"
They waved and wished him a good day too.
The older woman turned to the younger one. "Why would you say that? You know we never send out the Mafia before a fifty dollar infraction."

Tiny Terrible Tale #5: Purple Tent

(This Tiny Terrible Tale is dedicated in its entirety to Claire Allysse Cecelia Dagmar Queen of the Fjords Liptrot. It is, in fact, NOT about her.)

She wants a purple tent; a purple, purple tent.

"There are no purple tents!" 

She pouted and cried and wailed and whined until someone came along, shoved her in her tent and poured ten tons of purple paint on it.

"There! You happy?"

From deep within the purple came a squeaky little, "No!"

The Forth Tiny Terrible Tale: Camping Culinary Masterpiece

dedicated to Burrito Dave, the Boy Scout & Lothlorien

"It is TIME," announced the Boy Scout as he rose from his camp chair with a gleam in his eye.

He crossed to the very swank camping kitchen and began. Using all his skills, he produced Crab Rangoon in the woods and the happy hippy campers cheered. Burrito Dave popped out of his tent and began making burritos. The campers cheered again.


"Oh, so it's a contest, eh?" The Boy Scout brandished his spatula.

Slowly turning his head, Burrito Dave flipped his knife into the air and caught it by the handle.

"Never bring a spatula to a knife fight, Scout!"

The sound of metal spatula bouncing off the sharp blade drew more curious campers to the clearing from all directions.The campers cheered the dual until Burrito Dave sliced the Boy Scout. Swiftly chopping him to bits, he tossed the bloody Scout into the burritos.

"Who's hungry?" He shouted, spinning to find the circle of camp chairs vacated.

(This is a work of fiction. It in no way represents the true nature of the relationship between Burrito Dave and the Boy Scout nor any events that took place at Lothlorien. No Boy Scouts were harmed in the making of this story.)

Drabble Dream 20: Test

I'm waiting to take a test. 

The test doesn't start for another four hours, but people are running around and screaming. I sit calmly. The proctors for the test has each of us go into separate rooms. There is only one desk. It's too small and the chair is too big to fit under it. The proctor says I have a certain amount of time to finish the test but refuses to tell me how much. The test has only one question:

What is the purpose of your life and why?

My answer is amazing.

But when I wake, the answer is forgotten.

Tiny Terrible Tale #3: Baby Powers

"She's so good with babies!" Kelly's wife, Miranda said. "Every time she holds them, they fall asleep."
The exhausted Mom happily handed Kelly her screaming baby. True to what Miranda said, the baby fell right to sleep.
The Mom smiled. "Thank you."
Kelly nodded then broke the baby.
"Oh," said Miranda, "That happens sometimes."

*** No actual babies were harmed in this tale ***