Brain Pain!

Migraine's make me crazy...

Yes, the pain is part of it, but there's just so much more!

Cenobites have nothin' on my Brain Pain!

Here's a list of the things, beyond the pain, that make me crazy when I have a migraine... 

• Ellipses...
• When I write with Brain Pain, I become convinced that ellipses are the only way to end any sentence that's not a question or an exclamation. <--- (You see that sentence there? It was REALLY hard not to add ellipses at the end!) 
• I think it stems from the fact that I feel like I'm forgetting something... like there's something that I can't quite get out, you know? My thoughts are in ellipses...
• The buzzing....
• I have a serious case of tinnitus whenever I have brain pain... Combine that with sensitivity to sound and you've got a case of, "Could you speak up? I can't hear you over the buzzing... Oh no! That's too loud!"
• All the writing ideas...
• I'm a writer and this SOUNDS like it should be a GOOD thing... But when my head is hurting, I just don't want to write... Other things, like walking, sometimes help... but that's not conducive to writing either!
• If it's really bad, I'll lay down in a dark room... I'm not going to sleep, too much pain, but I can't shut off the thinking part of my brain either.
• If I can't lay down and actually have to talk with people, like at work, I have to concentrate REALLY hard not to be distracted by all the ideas flowing through my skull while they're speaking and I'm supposed to be listening. (Harder than normal, even!)
• Here's a sample... New story idea about a mouse controlling thoughts through scientific experiments but before you start that, don't you have a few stories to finish like the Poppet story? What happened to revising the Roadkill story? And Funky Sushi... HELLO!  You can't start anything new, you NEED to update your animal blog! Here's a great topic, dogs who are aggressive only on the leash... But it's been even longer since you wrote as Nin Nyx... how 'bout a post on brain pain? Btw, here's the solution to your novel! Seriously, all you have to do is jot down this idea about that character who lived in a tree... what's that character's name? Do you have a character who lives in a tree? Well, you NEED to put a character in a tree and it will solve your novel!!! Seriously! I'm your brain! Would I lie to you??? 
• Caffeine & pain killers..
• I've had some success with staving off a migraine when I've taken just the right dosage of pain killers and drunk just the right amount of caffeine in just the right form at just the right time... But this doesn't happen often. Instead, I end up drinking lots of caffeine in many forms and NEVER BEING ABLE TO SLEEP! 
• Heights...
• I have no fear of heights, but a migraine will sometimes mess with my equilibrium and simple things like going up and down stairs will suddenly become difficult. (But not all the time, 'cause that would make it predictable!)
• Bells and such things....
• Sounds that I can usually ignore or even find charming when my head is not hurting, become spears and spikes through my skull and can actually bring on a migraine.
• wind chimes, whistles, church bells, zills, freakin' ex-housemate's gods-awful alarm...
• Oh so Shiny!
• Yeah... it's that bright light thing... But I like shiny when I'm not in pain, so this makes me really sad.  :(

There's more... I'm sure of it... but I'm gonna go drink some more coffee and lay awake in a dark room... with my pain... and all my writing ideas... that come to me in ellipses... 

Death Smells Of Magnolias

When I was a kid living just outside of Houston, we had a magnolia tree in our backyard. It bloomed in early summer then shed a blanket of petals. When the magnolia was in full bloom, I liked to sit under it and make up stories. I named my magnolia tree Maggie. She was my friend and a really good listener. On one hot Texas summer day I saw a bird under Maggie. It wasn't moving. I was all of five or six, but I didn't tell anyone. I dug a hole under my tree and buried the bird. 

In high school, after my family had move to Venezuela then back to the same house in Texas, I rediscovered my tree. I decided to make perfume out of the petals. Though I didn't really know what I was doing, I managed to get a concoction that smelled something like perfume. But every time I thought of using it, I refrained. Eventually, it went bad and I threw it out. It wasn't until years later when I saw a dead squirrel under a magnolia tree that I realized I associated the smell of magnolias with death.

Drabble Dream 9: Graveyard Shadows

She stands statue still behind a tree, masked and wearing black, unblinking.

"Is she death?" My sister's child asks, pulling at my sleeve.

I take his hand, watch his eyes and smile sweet. "No dear. She is human, like us. We all respond to death in unique ways. This is just her way."

He nods. He will ask no more, but he does not believe me. He watches the woman throughout the burial. When it is all done, I see him march over to her. I let him go, but stay close. He will soon learn what I already know.

Library

I feel I'm on the cusp of a new life journey. After applying for library jobs for over two years, I finally got one! On April 22nd I started my part-time Circulation Clerk position. I'm still doing the dog walking and the pet sitting, which I love, but I feel that I've stepped on the path to my future. I loved working in bookstores but I think I love working in a library just that much more.

I know this isn't much of a post, but I haven't posted in so long and I wanted to post something. My new plan is to post once a week.

=^..^=